10 Telling Signs You’re Trapped in an Abusive Relationship

By Emily Lockhart.

The thing that hurts most about an abusive relationship is realizing that you were tricked into it. Most abusive relationships don’t start out with a black eye. Commonly, they begin just like any other relationship or may seem too good to be true, but slowly, your partner may begin to subtly blame you for things beyond your control or pick at your faults. This may slowly evolve into full blown verbal or physical abuse.

The trauma suffered in an abusive relationship gradually ramps up. It slowly drains you of self worth and alienates your support system, leaving you feeling trapped and miserable before you even realize the signs.

Regardless of if you suffer from emotional, verbal, or physical abuse, it can be difficult to comprehend that someone you love, and who claims to love you, could victimize you. And sometimes, your partner may not even realize what they’re doing is wrong.

Here are ten sneaky signs that you’re trapped in an abusive relationship…

1. Humiliation

Humiliation as a form of abuse may start out with subtle jabs or insults in private and then become full blown yelling and embarrassment in public before you even realize it. It doesn’t take much for an abuser to get angry for the smallest of reason and convince you that you’re the guilty party. This type of humiliation is meant to make you submissive and to control you in front of others if they know that they’re public outbursts will make you subservient to their wants and needs.

2. Verbal Insults

You or your partner may lose your cool in an argument, but that never excuses name calling or foul language. Verbal abuse can range from insulting your looks, your intelligence, or your worth and it doesn’t always include foul language. The main purpose of verbal abuse is to wear down your self esteem so that you’re compliant and reliant on your partner—and no one else.

3. Physical Violence

Physical abuse almost never starts with a busted lip. Abusers typically begin subtly with an intimidating stance, a hand raised, a grab at your arm, or a quick slap to get your attention. This almost always graduates to harsher physical slaps, chokes, grabs, or even punches if you let the previous abuse slide. Abusers know that it takes time to breaking their spouse or partner down so they think they deserve the abuse

4. Controlling Behavior

The controlling abuser aims to alienate you from everyone else in your life other than them. That way, your friends or family won’t recognize the signs of abuse or come to your aid. Most abusers want you to be totally dependent on them and no one else. At first this may appear that your partner is just really invested in your life and your decisions, but it will slowly spiral into them being in total control.

5. Unpredictable Mood Swings

The mood swings of an abusive individual can be staggering. For instance, they can go from pleasant and romantic to total rage in a matter of seconds. This extremely unpredictable behavior is almost only aimed at a submissive partner who they know won’t challenge them

6. Picking at Faults

Does your partner treat you like a child? Most abusers who use verbal abuse as their prime tool will treat you like a misbehaved child, yelling and disciplining you as they demean and point out your every fault. However, if you try to correct them, get ready for a seriously defensive and angry backlash.

7. Alienating Your Friends and Family

An abuser knows that they won’t get away with mistreating you if you have supportive friends and family in the picture to challenge their behavior. That’s why they will slowly try to convince you that others don’t appreciate you or value your relationship. Soon you will lose all sense of yourself and only have them for support. What better way to control your every behavior, right?

8. Placement of Blame
You can bet if you choose to stay with an abusive partner that you’ll be blamed for everything that goes wrong in their lives. An abusive lover will never accept personal blame for anything. They are masters at turning things around on their spouses so they never assume any guilt.

9. Manipulation

Abusers are skilled at manipulation—so much so that they actually convince their partners that their physical or verbal outbursts are the result of misbehavior on your part. The aim is to make you doubt yourself and your self worth as a good person. That’s why most victims of abuse continue to excuse or forgive their partner’s cruel behavior

10. Calculated Outbursts
Doesn’t it seem strange to you that your partner only demeans you, yells at you, or hits you in private? They will try to convince you that they have no control over their violet or verbally abusive tirades, but ask yourself why they never lose their cool in front of others or in public.

#NoMercyForLanre: Mercy Aigbe ‘A Case Study of Domestic Violence’

Domestic violence is a nightmare which is seeped into reality and becomes a controversial topic when brought to the spotlight especially when a celebrity is involved.
When you bring up the name Mercy Aigbe and domestic violence you get a flood of information, stories and report. The story started on the popular social media platform Instagram, where Mercy Aigbe posted a picture on the 28th of April 2017 with the caption “say  no to domestic violence…” It sparked questions and suspicion which the actress tried to shut down by later sharing a picture of her and husband Lanre Gentry which she took down moments later following harsh comments by fans and followers on her IG page. She was later spotted after the event covered in makeup with little trace of the incident.
The rocky marriage of mercy Aigbe became a trending topic last week escalating to three people arrested for harassment and a restraining order was secured against her husband.
According to reports, on the  5th of May MercyAigbe showed up at the Area F police station in response to invitation by police only to meet the absence of her husband Lanre Gentry who however came out to media to deny battering his wife, also claiming that the actress/business woman has been going through mental disorder pilled with accusations of infidelity.
Mercy Aigbe also took to the media changing her handle from @mercyaigbegentry to @realmercyaigbe with an exposing e-letter, pictures evidence of the incident and followup scanning procedure done to prove the extent of the abuse, a harsh reality check to the shy topic of domestic violence which can happen to anyone even in the most seemingly stable relationship.
    Lanre Gentry has embarked on a journey of cat and mouse…Running away from the law and there has been an accusation and Lanre conniving with the police an accusation made by Mercy aigbe herself.
We the Hoped this will not be another case of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE been swept under the rug… which has become the norm in our society..
This is a lesson to everyone that the seemingly most perfect couple might not be so perfect after all.
#NomercyforLanre
#ceafng
#Enoughisenough
#saynotodomesticviolence
#Notosexualassaults.
Let’s share and raise awareness!!

Husband beats and stabs his wife in her private part after accusing her of cheating

A man named Victor Ojiaku has been arrested by the Nigerian police for allegedly beating his wife mercilessly and then stabbing her in her private part with a broken bottle after accusing her of sleeping with sleeping with a teenage boy who works for him.

Ojiaku, an automobile parts dealer, attacked his wife, Faith Ojiaku, 27, a mother of three at their home in White Sand, Isheri-Osun in Lagos State last week. LIB has photos of the stabbed vagina but probably not appropriate to post here

A man named Victor Ojiaku has been arrested by the Nigerian police for allegedly beating his wife mercilessly and then stabbing her in her private part with a broken bottle after accusing her of sleeping with sleeping with a teenage boy who works for him.

Ojiaku, an automobile parts dealer, attacked his wife, Faith Ojiaku, 27, a mother of three at their home in White Sand, Isheri-Osun in Lagos State last week. LIB has photos of the stabbed vagina but probably not appropriate to post here.
Faith was kept locked up for two days by Victor, making it impossible for her to call any family member or friend for help or seeking medical attention.

When she was eventually allowed to seek medical attention, she used a doctor’s phone to call her sister who the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team, who have since taken up the case.

The man appeared at the Ejigbo Magistrates’ Court last week where he was granted bail and case postponed till end of January. He is also faing charges for attacking his teenage worker who he accused of sleeping with his wife.

He is facing a six-count charge bordering on grievous bodily harm, threat to life and assault.
Faith was kept locked up for two days by Victor, making it impossible for her to call any family member or friend for help or seeking medical attention.

When she was eventually allowed to seek medical attention, she used a doctor’s phone to call her sister who the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team, who have since taken up the case.

The man appeared at the Ejigbo Magistrates’ Court last week where he was granted bail and case postponed till end of January. He is also faing charges for attacking his teenage worker who he accused of sleeping with his wife.

He is facing a six-count charge bordering on grievous bodily harm, threat to life and assault.

Domestic Violence is Real: Scorn Wife pour boiling water on husband in Plateau State for marrying second wife

A young woman identified as one Hafsat on February 20th, allegedly poured boiling water on her husband because he married a second wife. Below is a report by a journalist with Unity FM.
For marrying a second wife, this was what this young girl Hafsat did to her husband in Fill-in Ball area of Jos.

Mubarak and Hafsat have been married for eight years after courting for six years. They have three children between them.Trouble however started when Mubarak decided to take a second wife. This did not go down well with Hafsat who became mad, enraged, infuriated and pissed off.
She told the 37 year old Mubarak to divorce her but he begged her saying she just needs to understand that as a Muslim, he is entitled to marry more than one wife. She became hostile towards him.
Eventually, Mubarak married his second wife on the 28 of January 2017.He however accommodated her in Fillin Sukwa area of Jos, a distant from his first wife’s home. Mubarak as promised ensured equity, fairness, impartiality and justice amongst his two wives.
On Monday 20th of February, after returning from his second wife ‘s home, Hafsat the first wife asked Mubarak to go back to where he was coming from (his second wife’s home).Knowing she doesn’t have the capacity to beat him up, he did not oblige her. She told him if he doesn’t go back, he would regret it. True to her words, she locked the door, when he tried opening the door with his own key, she emptied a pot of boiling water on husband back.What a world.
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Update on our recent campaign and Press Release

Update on our recent campaign and Press Release

Global statistics according to the World Health Organisation (WHO), reveal that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/ or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner violence in their lifetime.

These account for the major public health problems and violations of women’s human rights. Advocates for Youth, a 32-year-old Washington-based organization, has recorded that in Sub-Saharan Africa, violence against women is a widespread problem and in Nigeria specifically, 81% of married women report verbal and physical abuse by their husbands with 46% reporting being abused in the presence of their children.

Also, according to the guardian UK, more than 40% (2 in 5) of domestic violence victims are male, contradicting popular belief that it is almost only women that are left battered and bruised.

Founded by Paul Akinyemi Thomson in 2009, Comfort Empowerment and Advocacy Foundation (CEAF) is a non-governmental organization (NGO) created to aid victims of domestic abuse and end gender based violence through public awareness and engagement campaigns and pushing to enforce laws that will protect everyone irrespective of gender.

The team comprises of trained and able counselors as well as experienced lawyers who are ready to prosecute legal causes from start to finish. CEAF has also partnered with the well known Domestic Violence and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT) of the Lagos State government and the Sexual Violence Counselling team of Mirabel Centre, which is the very first Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) in Nigeria that also boasts of over 30 sexual abuse counselors, trained to provide psycho-social support for victims of abuse.

CEAF is resolute on breaking social barriers and stigma, normalizing the conversation around domestic violence and sexual assault and as a matter of urgency, increasing resources to address the issue.

CEAF Social Media details:
Visit our website for more information
Website: http://ceaf.ng
Facebook: @ceafng
Twitter: @ceafng
Instagram: @ceafng

For media and press inquiries please contact:
ceafnews@gmail.com

Below are the list of sites and blogs that has been spreading the news with #CEAFNG .

· http://alukosayo.blogspot.com.ng/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.entertain9ja.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.felisterisikeblog.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://gistflick.com/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy-foundation-ceaf-is-saying-no/
· http://www.jejetv.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.getitrightnigerians.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.rosyomeje.com.ng/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy-foundation-ceaf-is-saying-no.html
· http://www.padigist.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.mathewtegha.com.ng/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://gistxtra.blogspot.co.ke/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html?m=1
· http://www.deemezblog.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.heavybrainguy.info/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.naija4real.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· https://gistcomplex.blogspot.com.ng/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.levitoday.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.blogmallnigeria.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.frayokit.info/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://www.proudlyblog.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://newsengin.blogspot.com/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://andybesttv.blogspot.com.ng/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html?m=1
· http://septin911.net/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-advocacy-foundation-ceaf-saying-no/
· http://www.veenaija.com/comfort-empowerment-advocacy-foundation-ceaf-saying-no/
· http://dsuccesscenter.blogspot.com.ng/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-and-advocacy.html
· http://talktokemi.blogspot.com.ng/2017/02/comfort-empowerment-n-advocacy.html