By Damilola  CEAF Staff,

When seeing a write up or hear a program tagged “abusive relationship” it is not about men who beat up their wife, hitting each other or getting bruises covered, because not all abusive relationship comes in violence and most abusers look innocent in the outside world.
Been a successful woman does not mean you cannot be in an abusive relationship, but the best way is to identify the signs and solve the problem. Abusive relationship can take any form as anyone can be in this kind of relationship without realizing.
An abuser in a relationship tends to manipulate you in any way, talk to you anyhow and tend to start apologizing when he thinks he is wrong and come up with the words that “I will make it up to you”.
Here are some signs that shows you are in an abusive relationship
He is always controlling: He always talk to you anyhow, want to be in charge of your life, he will wants to know where exactly you are going and where you are coming from. When you make calls and smile he will interrogate you and want to know who you are talking to.
He is always jealous: You should know you are in trouble with this kind of man, when there is some much jealously in his heart you will actually face so much difficulty with him. This kind of man visit unexpectedly, calls frequently to know where you are and know what you are doing.
There is verbal abuse or Insult: He will always say this that are bad to you, talk to you a bad manner, remind you of your bad past and hurt you by calling you ugly names.
There are treats of violence: He makes aggressive statement that makes you scare, he says statements like “I will beat you, I will break your arm etc” he later comes up with a cute face and says he did not mean it.
He blames other for his own mistake: He comes up with several excuses when he makes mistake, he either says he got provoked by his boss or co- worker at work or blame it on extended family, and he will never be claim responsibility for his own mistake.
Accuse you of having affair: He accuses you of having extramarital affair just because he sees you with someone who may be a co worker or s long time friend and accuses you of cheating on him.
Check your emails, texts and social media account: He checks your private account just to know if you are trying to hide something from him. He checks your text messages to see who you have been talking to or what you have been talking about.

And lastly Listen to your Gut Feelings.They are always right.

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By Damilola  CEAF Staff

For many of us, it can be difficult to identify if our partners are psychopath, it is not something you will detect very fast in a relationship neither will you find it in the eyes of a man when you meet him. Nevertheless, not all psychopaths are serial killer or criminal who has been to prison so many time  .

Psychopaths are uncaring people with shallow mind/emotion who manipulate people with words, they learn to mimic emotions, and despite their inability to feel them will appear to unsuspected people.
A psychopath may appear or act like a prince charming at first, without knowing the signs you can end up dating a psychopath. You may end up not knowing who he really his when the bad attitude is been revealed.
Here are some signs to identify a psychopath
Flattery: When you meet a psychopath they try to move things really fast, they tell you sweet things like they love you, and want that you share the same interest together. They constantly begin communication and tend to be fascinated with you. They bombard your social media with comment, love quotes etc. This is called the love bombing.
They play with your emotion with pity stories: At first they tell you series of stories about their abusive ex, they seems cute with these stories makes you understand that they do not want drama in their life and they crave for is quiet and some peaceful time. They make you believe these stories and make you have a soft spot in your heart for them.
They withhold attention: They hold the attention which they created and make you a completely bored person. They make you feel like you are getting on their nerves. They treat you with silence and then you begin to feel like a responsibility to them.
Lying for no reason: They come up with lie and make you believe that they are telling the truth. A psychopath can come up with lies with facts and can go to any length to defend the lies.
They treat other people (animals) like garbage: They hurt people with words and even by hitting them, they don’t care what happen to living being like them. He does what he wants regardless of what happens to other.